I recently had one of those moments in my life—the kind you never expect to happen until it hits you in the face and opens your eyes. I had a very early miscarriage, my first after four full-term pregnancies. It shocked me, but it also made me have a greater understanding of life.
In the midst of the departure of life from my body, I got a wonderful picture of a loving God, offering a freedom hard to fathom in this physical world we live in. He showed me a girl with long hair, riding on top of a great lion, bouncing and laughing. Perfect joy. He told me, “She is free, and this picture of her freedom will teach you how to be truly free. I love you, Kelli, and this is what my joy looks like.”
I wanted to remember this message. I wanted to mark the moment of miscarriage with something that would remind me of the actual life it gave me.
So I asked my amazing friend, @christalongart, to document this revelation with her unrivaled talent. She is a painter and her work has a way of revealing a side to this life that is sometimes hard to see.
I think sometimes we are so blinded by the physical circumstances, we forget to look deeper into the spiritual truths of the giver of life. If we can tap into this middle ground (between heaven and earth), we can see hope. This is what Christa does with her art. She paints a picture of something physical, but she grabs the abstract middle and brings a still painting to life with each stroke. While we grieve in the physical, we breathe in the middle. Christa breathes in the fullness of the circumstances and breathes out the pain with the brush and color on canvas. Isn’t it a great God who gives us people who can see inside the depth and come out with a picture of what love looks like?
So I told Christa about the picture God had given me. And she got it right. More than right—perfect.
Below is the picture of the painting. I put it above the baby pictures of Will, Cash, Tessa and Pax. Every time I see it, I breathe in freedom and breathe out the belief that God is a good God—the giver of life and freedom.